Juiced.GS to publish in distant future

APRIL 1, 2015 — LEOMINSTER, MA — Juiced.GS, having recently debuted the first issue of its twentieth volume, is capitalizing on that achievement by announcing a commitment to publish far into the future.

“Twenty years of Juiced.GS and 38 years of the Apple II — those are no small feats,” says editor and publisher Ken Gagne. “But we want to be here to mark some truly significant milestones — ones that extend into the triple digits.”

Frozen apples by Luminitsa
Juiced.GS embraces the latest advances in cryogenic technology.

To that end, Juiced.GS is committing to publish through A.D. 2102, the quasquicentennial of the Apple II. Not content to settle for just another hundred years, Juiced.GS will cover the Apple II across three different centuries, proving it is, once and for all, the longest-running print publication dedicated to the Apple II.

To ensure Juiced.GS‘s availability in the far-flung future, all publishing operations will be suspended immediately, and the entirety of its staff will be cryogenically frozen, set to thaw in time for KansasFest CXIV. “This will give our dedicated team of writers the youth and vitality they need to continue producing the content they’re reknown for,” promised Gagne. Staff members were unavailable for comment on this news.

The lineup for the 107th volume’s debut issue includes a tutorial for overlocking the Apple IIGS up to 1.2 tetrahertz; a review of the new USB 9.0-Z interface card from UltimateMicro Syndibits; a roundup of Apple II emulators for Apple FlyPlay, the flying car OS; an interview with Steve Wozniak IV; and a preview of Geoff Weiss’s Taipan game.

Preorders for Juiced.GS 2102 are currently being accepted. Subscribers are required to specify a mailing address in their will.

3 thoughts on “Juiced.GS to publish in distant future

  1. I want my cryo-unit to be equipped with a sound system. I want to have a soothing nature sounds playlist looping while I’m frosty.

  2. Oooooo, I was hoping for a preview of Taipan!

  3. Yeepee, can I enter the program?


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