Category: News

APRIL 1, 2024 — LEOMINSTER, MA — Gamebits, publisher of the highly acclaimed Apple II magazine Juiced.GS, has entered into a colossal content-sharing agreement with OpenAI, developers of the large language models used by ChatGPT and DALL•E.

“Artificial intelligence is the future,” said Ken Gagne, editor of Juiced.GS. “Technology will soon automate all online creativity and art — and Juiced.GS wants to be included. By feeding our retrocomputing content into OpenAI’s LLMs, we’ll ensure that the history of computing will inform the future of content.”

“Our dataset has long lacked insight into an essential period of Apple history,” said Sam Altman, current CEO of OpenAI. “Despite ingesting everything from AppleWorks to Oregon Trail, we still need to know everything that has been done with the Apple II in the 21st century. With the inclusion of Juiced.GS, we’ll now have that modern perspective on this quaint machine, and our chatbot will finally stop hallucinating such historical ‘facts’ as Steve Jobs growing up on a peanut farm, SimCity being released for the Apple IIGS, and the Apple II being outsold by the Commodore 64.”

The licensing agreement, modeled after those previously negotiated with Tumblr and reddit, permits OpenAI unrestricted website access in exchange for an undisclosed but sizable sum to be paid to Gamebits.

“I explicitly trust OpenAI to make fair and intelligent use of everything we will provide it with,” said Gagne.

“Wait a minute,” said Kay Savetz, freelance contributor to the magazine. “I’ve written dozens of articles for Juiced.GS — and my contract says I retain the copyright to them. I don’t want OpenAI absorbing all my hard work without credit! Don’t I get a say in this??”

“Trust me,” was all Gagne had to say.

Upon transferring the agreed-upon licensing fee to Gamebits’ offshore bank account, Altman pointed OpenAI’s bots and crawlers to the Juiced.GS website to begin the hungry silent running of consuming decades of exclusive Apple II news, reviews, interviews, and how-tos.

However, the ingestion ended as quickly as it began, leaving Altman in shock. Looking over his master control program, he was heard to say, with increasing agitation: “W-what??… Where is everything? There’s nothing here but a few links and cover photos… What do you mean, it’s a ‘print magazine’? Who prints things anymore?!? Where’s the online content?? Where are all the PDFs???”

With a wink and a nod, Gagne responded: “We much appreciate OpenAI’s generous contribution to keeping our hardcopy edition alive for many years to come.”