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Juiced.GS now offering personal delivery

Ken wearing a Juiced.GS shirt and a gentleman holding a Juiced.GS magazine

APRIL 1, 2021 — SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Gamebits, publisher of Juiced.GS, is excited to offer subscribers a more personal experience with the longest-running print publication dedicated to the Apple II. Starting in 2021, customers can opt into having their issues hand-delivered to their homes by the publisher.

“We already pulled this prank once before, in 2017,” acknowledged publisher Ken Gagne. “But this past year has been challenging, with an unending pandemic, a contentious election, and a stuck boat. The last thing we wanted to do was give Juiced.GS readers another reason to question reality.”

The Juiced.GS editorial board, feeling that they owed subscribers one for putting up with so many years of jokes, decided the best way to observe April Fool’s Day 2021 would be to make good on a previous gag. Thus, a duty-bound Gagne, outfitted with copies of the March 2021 issue of Juiced.GS, boarded his Juicedmobile to deliver the magazine to subscribers throughout the San Francisco Bay Area.

“This was the most fun I’ve had with Apple II users since the last KansasFest,” gushed Gagne, 170 miles later. “I met the founder of The Retro Roadshow, a local retrocomputing user group. I chatted with the HP employee who donated many items from Chuck Colby‘s estate to the Internet Archive. I caught up with a Nox Archaist beta tester. I got a recommendation of a local ice-cream stand from from the person who streamed Second Life to an Apple II. I visited with a pastor who shoveled snow as a kid to earn money for his first IIGS. And I took a selfie with a former editor of Nibble Magazine.”

Given the niche nature of retrocomputing, the opportunity to talk to other Apple II enthusiasts in person is rare — even more so during a pandemic. By offering personal delivery of Juiced.GS, Gamebits hopes to deliver not just a magazine, but much-needed connection during a time of isolation and separation.

At least one reader agreed. “Old computers are cool, but getting to know folks like you is the real fun of this hobby,” texted Huxley Dunsany to Gagne as he rode off into the sunset. “We’re grateful that you came by!”

Interested in personal delivery? Keep an eye on Ken’s itinerary as he travels the country! In this program’s pilot period, personal delivery is being offered on an opt-in, invitation-only basis — but if the timing and location work out, you too may be handed your next issue of Juiced.GS!

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Juiced.GS to publish bi-weekly

Binders

APRIL 1, 2020 — LEOMINSTER, MA — Gamebits, publisher of quarterly Juiced.GS magazine, is celebrating its storied magazine’s 25th volume by increasing its publishing frequency.

“When Juiced.GS debuted in 1996, our readers were connecting to GEnie and Delphi on archaic dial-up modems, downloading files at a snail’s pace,” reflected editor-in-chief Ken Gagne. “Whether they were getting their Apple II news digitally from the Internet or from our magazine in the mail, they would be waiting for three months either way.”

But advancements in information technology and social media have led to a near-constant news cycle of Apple II development. To adapt to this fast-paced era and to ensure timely content, Juiced.GS will be transitioning from a quarterly publication schedule to twice-monthly, with twenty-four physical issues being mailed to readers every year.

“We’re very excited to offer our subscribers the same amount of news, reviews, interviews, and how-tos that Juiced.GS has always delivered,” promised Gagne. “By which I mean, it’ll still total eighty pages a year. What, did you think our hard-working staff of volunteers was just going to magically sextuple the amount of content?”

Binders
You’ll never see issues of Juiced.GS this thick!

Each issue of Juiced.GS will consist of a three-page article on a single topic, giving readers time to pore over the content and try the new hardware, software, or programming techniques being covered. Two weeks later, they can expect another three-page issue, with a special four-page issue planned for KansasFest 2020. Subscribers can upgrade to a premium edition that comes pre-punched for collecting into three-ring binders.

“Australia has always had more Apple II gatherings than Juiced.GS has issues, making it difficult to stay up on events like WOzFest,” noted Juiced.GS staff writer Andrew Roughan. “Now we’re cutting months off the delay from when you read about something on Facebook or in Slack to when it appears in Juiced.GS. Once you fall into the cadence of our regular morsels of content, you’ll wonder how you ever had the attention span to read a full twenty pages.”

“I used to complain about Juiced.GS‘s slow postal delivery on a quarterly basis,” complained fellow Australian Michael Mulhern. “Now I get to complain about my favorite magazine biweekly!”

As an introduction to this streamlined product, Gamebits is now selling individual pages from Volume 24 (2019) of Juiced.GS. Orders can be any combination of consecutive or non-consecutive pages from any of the year’s four issues. By reviewing the index of articles from that volume, customers can assemble their own custom hardcopy issues of Juiced.GS.

“We’re excited by this transition to better serve our loyal customers,” affirmed Gagne. “And no, we’re still not going to make PDFs available; please stop asking.”

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Juiced.GS announces hand delivery

Speedy delivery!

APRIL 1, 2017 — LEOMINSTER, MA — Juiced.GS, the world’s last and longest-running print publication dedicated to the Apple II, is finally eliminating traditional hardcopy delivery in favor of a more reliable distribution method.

“Relying on the United States Postal Service to deliver our magazine has resulted in several cantankerous subscribers, especially in Australia,” grumbled publisher Ken Gagne. “We’ve explored alternative carriers — UPS, FedEx, DHL — and not one offered the the satisfaction guarantee that Apple II customers deserve.”

Concluded Gagne: “Sometimes, if you want it done right, you have to do it yourself.”

Starting immediately, all Juiced.GS subscribers will enjoy personal hand delivery of their issues. As a preliminary trial run, customers in select test markets received their March issues directly from Gagne, resulting in glowing praise. Carrington Vanston, host of the prolific 1 MHz podcast, gushed:

I don’t know if I’m supposed to give away the secrets of the 8-bit publishing star chamber, but I can tell you non-subscribers something you might not know about Juiced.GS: when you subscribe, every issue you receive has been hand-lettered in gold-flaked ink by ex-Apple employees. And then — then, Ken Gagne puts it in his car and he drives it to you anywhere in the world (he’s got like a Chitty Chitty Bang Bang kind of car) and he hand-delivers your copy. He comes right into your house — you know, breaks in or whatever — and then he places it right on your coffee table, squares it up all nice and neat with a t-bar. The presentation is amazing. I mean, okay, sure, he usually, you know, goes through your fridge or whatever, but this is the kind of service you just don’t see anymore from the mainstream press. You really only see it from a publisher who’s had the foresight and the dedication to collect the wisdom and the, you know, the actual brains of the great magazine publishers of the eighties. You should see his collection! It’s — it’s … it’s frankly terrifying.

Juiced.GS subscribers will know their issue is en route when they spot the magazine’s unique branded vehicle coming down the street.

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
The official Juiced.GS delivery wagon.

“I look forward to visiting our loyal subscribers wherever they may live, day or night — whatever it takes to ensure every customer, everywhere, is reading every single word and sentence we slaved over,” Gagne menaced. “Apple II… FOREVER!!

As a consequence of this improved service, Juiced.GS is changing its publication frequency from quarterly to annually, to allow time for delivery. The last customer is scheduled to receive their next issue in March 2018. Renewals are now being accepted.